If Only I Hadn't Killed You
by Moogle Princess
Summary: A peek behind the scenes at what happens once the fanfiction is over.
1. Chapter 1

If Only I Hadn't Killed You

Sephiroth and Aires snuck out of the party into the romantic moonlight. Sephiroth held his angelic bride whilst thinking of how beautiful she looked in her wedding dress.

A smile appeared on Aeris's face as she picked up on his train of thought using her magic Ancient Telepathie, "Thanks Sephy-kins! You look amazing to!1! I can't believe we're marryed."

"Yes." Sephiroth said, his eyes getting a guily look in them, "If only I hadn't killed you. We surely would have fallen in love and been married so much sooner. Instead you had to experience all that pain of dying." "Sephy it's ok. I totally forgave you for that when Red XIII... er... Nenoki I mean accidentally brought you back to life with the spell in that Ancient Book. Who would have thought that his dog-lion-cat (A/N: I mean what is he anyway?) kind were actually related to the Ancients and could read there magic language!!1"

"Its amazing." Sephiroth said, "And it brought me to you. I'm the luckyest man in the whole planet."

"I love you Sephy." Aeris said sweetly staring into Sephiroth's glowing catlike eyes.

Sephiroth smiled a rare and beautiful smile, "I love you ro Aerith."

(A/N:!!! This is my favorite part!!1! ZOMG!)

When they kissed Aeris's powers showed her the rest of her second life. She and Sephiroth would move to Costa del Sol and have three sons who all looked like him and a daughter that looked just like her. There daughter would fall in love with Clouds and Tifas oldest son. Then there boys would each marry Yuffies and Vincents daughter, Cid and Sheras daughter, and Renos and Elanas daughter. They'd all grow old and gray (or grayer in Sephys case ;) ) together as one big happy family together.

The End!!! (maybe... ehehe...)

Within seconds, reviews came pouring in from rabid fans all over the internet. The author was glowing with pride as all of her friends demanded another story while gushing about her ability as a writing genius. Joy was expressed through pixilated smiley faces and exclamation points as another bit of Final Fantasy VII fanfiction escaped into the universe.

Frozen in Sephiroth's arms, Aeris whispered, "Is it over?"

Slowly Sephiroth's eyes scanned the area around them, "I think so."

"Thank goodness." Aeris sighed in relief, pulling away from Sephiroth, "I'm not sure but I think this was the worst one yet."

Sephiroth nodded in reply shrugging out of the jacket of his tuxedo. It was warm in Costa del Sol and he could not stand the stiff restraining material any longer. He tossed the jacket onto the beach and went to work on cuff links on his sleeves. It would have been perfectly respectable for him to get married in his Soldier uniform. Really he did not understand why there were not more stories where he married Aeris dressed in the familiar black leather suit considering the stereotype of the authors of these stories. Didn't fan girls drool over the idea of him in black leather?

"I know this is the worst dress I've ever had to wear." Aeris muttered trying to decide the best way to walk in the silk and lace monstrosity without falling out of the low cut bodice, "What are these girls thinking? It's not a problem during the story. It seems like every author describes me as moving down the isle 'like a goddess'."

"You do resemble a lace doily that someone's grandmother would collect." Sephiroth said blandly.

Aeris shot him a withering look, "Oh, shut up."

"Now, now..." Sephiroth tugged off his tie with a smirk, "Is that really any way to speak to your new husband?"

Suddenly Aeris's face split into a wide brainless grin. Her eyes took on a glazed, love struck look as she waddled closer to him, "Oh, you're right Sephy-kins! How could I ever disobey you?"

Sephiroth looked queasy, "You've made your point. I feel suitably chastised now."

Aeris's expression turned theatrically wounded, "But Sephy-Weffy-Woo-Woo, love of my life, you know I admire you cunning brain as much as your ethereal good looks and godly abs!"

"Aeris..." Sephiroth warned darkly.

"Take me now you wild chocobo!" Aeris cried holding her arms out to him.

"Never..." Sephiroth shuddered, "Ever... say that again."

"Don't you looooove me anymore?" Aeris whimpered, lower lip trembling.

"I thought shoving my sword through you explained my feelings pretty well." Sephiroth deadpanned, "I despise you."

The gleeful loving look on her face vanished from Aeris's face as quickly as it appeared. She met Sephiroth glare for glare, "The feeling is more than mutual, murderer."

"Freak." Sephiroth sneered.

Aeris gasped, offended, "Psycho!"

"Pathetic." Sephiroth said, rolling his eyes, "Although I guess I shouldn't expect from a planet worshiping child."

"Sure beats the crap out of being a science experiment gone wrong and Hojo's son." Aeris shot back, "I mean... ew."

That one stung. Even Sephiroth cringed a little as he thought of the man who was supposidly his biological father. Aeris laughed when he didn't immediately respond, "Is that all you got, mama's boy?"

"I hate you." Sephiroth growled, scowling down at her.

Aeris did not let Sephiroth scare her, even when he tried to get in her face and intimidate her, "Not as much as I hate you."

Sephiroth clenched his fists, his nails digging crescents into the leather of his gloves, "You're lucky we're all immortal here or I would-"

"What!?" Aeris spat back, "You would what?"

Both were silent a moment before their lips met in a kiss filled with all the heat and violence of their argument. Aeris's hands fisted in Sephiroth's shirt, dragging his face down to hers. Sephiroth wrapped his arms around Aeris's waist and pulled her body tight against his. His lips moved over hers punishingly, Aeris did not back down though. Her fingers slid up over his shoulders to tangle in his hair.

As suddenly as it started, the kiss stopped. Aeris's eyes opened and met Sephiroth's. There was a moment of stunned silence before they pulled apart. Sephiroth's eyebrows arched up nearly to his hairline. Aeris's hands flew to her mouth. Neither could take their eyes off the other.

"Oh my god..." Aeris moaned, her hands covering her face.

Sephiroth ran a hand through his hair, drawing in a ragged breath, "That... never happened."

"Right." Aeris agreed, nodding furiously, "Absolutely."

"Good." Sephiroth replied stiffly. He shuddered and stalked down the beach away from her without a backwards glance.

Aeris turned to exit in a similar fashion when she realized that she was still trapped in her dress. With a sigh she hiked up the skirts and dragged herself back towards the villa. Dignity be damned. She had to get off that beach. Silently Aeris prayed that someone would be there to save her from the author's hideous creation. All she wanted was a shower and sleep. Hopefully she could forget this day in its entirety.


	2. Chapter 2

Aeris was not the only one anxious to get out of a hideous dress. In the villa, Yuffie struggled in her bridesmaid dress. The author of If Only I Hadn't Killed You was also a rabid Buffy fan. She and Tifa had been forced into lime green, faux-satin monstrosities. The skirt hugged Yuffie's thighs in a way that made her massively uncomfortable before billowing out at the knee in a mass of lace.

Yuffie was glad for the short sleeves in the dress, but she could have done without the big, shiny flowers made from green fabric that must have been part plastic. The skin left bare by the neckline had been scratched up pretty bad. Of course, that was nothing compared to the black eye she had gotten from Tifa during the bouquet toss. She really hated authors that bashed on her character.

Ten years had passed since their original story had come from Squaresoft. Being a fictional character, she had not physically aged in all that time. She was a twenty-six year old stuffed into a scrawny sixteen year old body. At least with the creation of Advent Children, she aged a few years. Most of those stories were much worse though. Fans were trying to cram their ideas and dreams into an even more rigid universe.

Finally, her fingers closed on the zipper and she quickly escaped the dress. She changed into an oversized tee shirt and pajama shorts. Then she threw the dress against the wall with a satisfied chuckle. Tifa had beat her back and gotten out of her dress first, so she had already grabbed the shower. Many of the boys already called shots for who would take it next. It would be several hours before she had a chance.

Vincent was sitting in the lobby, a cup in his hand. He glanced up at her and arched one eyebrow slightly.

A smile split Yuffie's face at Vincent's unvoiced question, "Yes. _Please_."

Vincent's own lips quirked up as he set his cup on a nearby table. He went to the kitchen to retrieve another cup of tea. The recipe was a special one of his own. He claimed that only he knew the recipe. After one cup several years ago, this had become a tradition between the two.

It wasn't that Vincent had become more talkative. The years had loosened him up some, but not much. Their bond came because Yuffie had learned to appreciate a little quiet. Once she was left to be herself after a story, she was a little quieter herself. In the morning she would be loud, obnoxious child. She was going to hang on to being an adult as long as she could.

Vincent passed her a cup of tea and Yuffie smiled her thanks to him, "You have no idea how much I was looking forward to this."

"You were not the only one." Vincent agreed, taking his own cup back.

Taking a sip, Yuffie felt all her tense muscles relax some. Her mind and body had begun associating the taste of Vincent's tea with rest. Over the years, she and Vincent had been thrown together in more situations then she could count. People really enjoyed the "opposites attract" angle.

Around them, people moved and talked. Barret and Cid had taken over the pool table and were wagering gil that would be gone in the morning. Cloud was nursing a beer and watching them play. Tifa had come out of the shower and gone straight to bed, claiming to not feel well. The next story involved her and Scarlet being intimate in the gas chamber at Shinra HQ and she was already dreading it.

No one had seen Cait Sith or Red XIII after the wedding. Aeris or Sephiroth either. Yuffie asked Vincent, but he could not remember seeing them either. The door opened a minute later to reveal Sephiroth. Several members of Avalance bristled at the sight of him, but he did not pay any attention to them as he walked into the villa.

His eyes settled on Vincent and Yuffie, "Is that some of your calming tea, Valentine? I could really use some."

Vincent chuckled at the ragged edge to Sephiroth's voice. He took his cup to be refilled. Yuffie shook her head when he looked at hers. Sephiroth sank into a chair across from Yuffie's. She still was not sure what to think of the Ex-General. He had some large part in the war on Wutai, but it had never officially been established. Fan theories ran rampant, but Yuffie had no idea what the truth was.

Ten years before, things were what they were. Now they were all in the same boat. She took a sip of her tea and watched Sephiroth run his hands through his hair. He was not usually this agitated after a story, even one where he was paired off with one of the members of Avalanche.

"What's your deal tonight?" Yuffie asked, "Something happen?"

Sephiroth shrugged and muttered something under his breath, but would not say anything out loud. Yuffie shrugged and left it alone. She really did not care enough to pry either. Vincent handed Sephiroth a cup of tea and handed Yuffie a chocolate chip cookie. Yuffie grinned, he knew her so well.

Before she could actually eat the snack, Aeris came to the door looking more annoyed than Yuffie could ever remember seeing. She put down the tea and her cookie and hurried to help Aeris walk.

"What the hell's wrong with you, Sephiroth!" Yuffie cried, "You left her on the beach like this?"

Aeris went a little pale at that and looked down at the billowing skirt that covered her feet. A glance at Sephiroth showed him to be fidgeting with his teacup, "She made it pretty clear she didn't want my help so I left."

Yuffie arched an eyebrow at Aeris. The flower girl shook her head and threw her a pleading glance, "Just... leave it Yuffie. Help me get out of this thing."

Gathering the back of the skirt up in her arms, Yuffie hid a grin. Something had obviously happened with Aeris and Sephiroth... something beyond the story. Yuffie felt a flair of her old mischievous self. One way or another she would find out what happened... and if she did not, Sephiroth would spill his innards to Vincent. The gunman would tell her the story.

A/N: I'll dedicate this one to Silvara. I had really never thought of adding anything more to it. It was something I wrote while working 3rd shift at the grocery store. I found it funny, but I didn't think anyone else would really appreciate the humor... mostly because my sense of humor sucks.

Honestly I have no idea where this is going. It's something to help me past writer's block. I'm trying to get the next chapter of What Are We Fighting For out, but I can't get the ending of the next chapter quite right. I'll probably add more to this, but it'll be random. Thanks to those of you who actually read this. I hope you were amused.


	3. Chapter 3

The story ended leaving Yuffie and Vincent back in control of their bodies. Yuffie could feel the fingers of his flesh hand loosening from her back. It was not the first time she felt the mad urge to keep him from pulling away, but it was stronger than normal.

She was not in love with him. Somehow the thought made her feel younger and stupider. Love seemed a little rediculous after what they had all been through. A small part of her was curious to see what things would really be like between them.

"Come on..." A fiendish little voice urged, "Grow a set and just do it."

Her fingers were still tangled in his wild hair, so it was not hard to pull his lips down to hers. He tasted dark and fierce with just a hint of sorrow. Yuffie could feel Vincent's body tense briefly before relaxing into her arms. She pulled back, a tiny, self satisfied smile on her face.

A dark eyebrow arched as Vincent murmured, "Care to explain that?"

"Curiosity." Yuffie replied, grinning impishly, "Just wanted to see if the real thing could compare with fiction."

Vincent did not say anything, but he did not have to. Yuffie could see the question in his eyes, no matter how hard he tried to hide it. She gave him a knowing look, she wanted to hear him ask and he knew it.

Finally, he sighed, "And?"

One word. It was such a minor victory, but a victory none the less. She intended to fully enjoy it. With a secretive smile, Yuffie turned to walk away. She had only gone a few steps when Vincent's voice stopped her.

"I suppose you are not interested in what Sephiroth told me the other night."

Damn. Yuffie turned back to face Vincent. His face was carefully blank, but she knew he was laughing at her.

A few long strides brought him to her, "Tea? I believe we have things to discuss."

Yuffie watched him walk by, resigned. One day she would learn not to tango with Vincent Valentine. In ten years, she had yet to best the slippery man. With a sigh she hurried to catch him. The story behind Aeris and Sephiroth would be worth a little humiliation.

A/N: Several real, plot-having stories in the work and this is the only one I can finish a chapter for. Go figure. A short chapter but a chapter all the same. Honestly this thing has no plot. It's a bunch of randomly strung together ideas with no ending in sight. As long as someone is finding humor in it though, I'll consider it a success.

This one is for Bytemite. I don't think I've ever been accused of abusing the English language before. I think that's the greatest thing anyone has ever said about me!


	4. Chapter 4

As night fell over the villa, the inhabitants of the building fell into their nightly routines. Cid and Barret took over the pool table making ridiculous wagers. Cloud, Tifa and Red XIII had taken up seats on the stairs leading down to the table to watch. Across the room, Aeris sat in an armchair pointedly not looking at Sephiroth who was hovering near the windows doing the same thing.

Yuffie and Vincent sat on the couch, knees almost touching as they talked more quietly than normal. Anyone who did not know them might think they made an adorable, if not a little strange, couple.

Suddenly Yuffie's eyes went wide, "No! They didn't!"

Vincent nodded and sipped from his tea cup. Yuffie's eyes danced with unholy amusement, "And?"

An ebony eyebrow quirked up. For a moment Yuffie wondered if this was his way of getting revenge on her. Finally he said, "And..."

"Well, what did he say about it?" Yuffie whispered, trying to keep her voice from being overheard by the silver-haired man, "Did he enjoy it? What's he thinking about the whole thing now? Did all those idiot authors actually have something?"

Vincent smirked, "He admitted it was not a... wholly distasteful experience."

Yuffie laughed in delight, "Oh Vince! This is rich. God I wish I could tease Aeris about it."

"I fulfilled my end of the bargain." Vincent said, eyeing her meaningfully.

A sigh escaped Yuffie. She turned a hopeful grin on him, "No chance you'd just let it go?"

Vincent just watched Yuffie without replying. He did not have to.Yuffie curled her fingers around her cup, "It was that story the other day. On the hill, after the fight with Sephiroth..."

"I believe I recall it." Vincent replied, "Regret or some such nonsense."

"Well it got me thinking." Yuffie scowled down at her tea, "Not about the crap that the author put in there. I mean love and marriage? If I was sitting on a hill waiting to see if the world was gonna end, marriage would be the last thing on my mind... and there's no power on this planet that could convince me to tell you I was a virgin."

Vincent chuckled quietly at that making a dull blush appear on Yuffie's cheeks, "Anyway it got me to thinking, you know?"

Setting his own cup down, Vincent took the teapot and refilled Yuffie's cup, "What were you thinking about?"

"Thanks." Yuffie said, sipping the tea before continuing, "I got to thinking about immortality. I mean, we're immortal now. All of us. Maybe it doesn't bother you because you were written immortal... but I expected to live out my life, die, and be reborn from the Lifestream as a squirrel or something."

"A squirrel." Vincent murmured, amused.

Even Yuffie had to smile at that, "I don't know why my mind works the way that it does. Either way, I'll be sixteen for the majority of forever. I should be twenty-seven this year. Now I know how Shelke must feel."

Vincent nodded. Shelke Rui and her sister Shalua had been a strange addition to their world. Shalua spent most of her time with the Shinra crowd and the Turks wherever they had taken up residence in the world. Shelke had not taken the change as well as her sister. She was very serious, something everyone hoped she would get over. Reeve and Cait Sith had taken her under their wings to help her adjust. Vincent imagined that was where Shelke and Cait Sith were.

"It bothers me that the only emotions I feel are grossly exaggerated." Yuffie admitted, "I wanted to feel something real."

"And I was there..." Vincent smirked, "and male-"

"Oh shut up!" Yuffie cried, grabbing a nearby pillow and thumping him with it, "I can't help the things I say in that state and you're heartless to mention it."

Tifa approached, an amused look on her face. She was glad that Yuffie had finally found someone she could confide in. She had never done the girl talk thing that well. She paused and rested a fist on her hip, "Sorry to interrupt guys, but have you seen Aeris? I wanted to apologize in advance for punching her tomorrow."

Yuffie glanced around Tifa at the now empty armchair, "She was just sitting there ignoring Sephiroth a minute ago."

A frown crossed Tifa's face, "Huh... odd. I haven't seen him either."

Yuffie and Vincent shared a look, "Yeah, that is weird."

"I am sure she will return eventually." Vincent added.

Tifa nodded, "Guess so. Well if you see her, let her know I'm looking for her, okay?"

Vincent and Yuffie nodded and waited until Tifa walked away again. Yuffie was trying hard to bite back laughter, "Well if that isn't just plain weird."

"And strangely convenient." Vincent said, suppressing laughter as well.

Vincent returned her grin over the top of his tea cup. He let Yuffie drop their conversation. She had given him quite a bit to consider himself. If Yuffie noticed his new silence and thoughtful expression, she did not mention it.

Meanwhile...

Aeris walked up the beach alone. Anyone who might observe her would think she was just out for a walk. When she happened upon Sephiroth, she appeared surprised. To a passerby it would seem that they had accidentally run into each other.

But no one was nearby.

Aeris approached him slowly, "This is wrong."

Sephiroth nodded, agreeing with her, "Completely."

"I don't even like you." Aeris looked up at him through her bangs.

Sephiroth murmured another agreement, scanning the beach behind her. Even with his enhanced senses, he could not see or hear anyone near them.

"I mean, I don't know what we're-"

Sephiroth growled in annoyance and pulled Aeris tight against him, "You talk entirely too much."

A slow smile curled on her lips, "So maybe you should shut me up."

Sephiroth grinned fiercely and made sure Aeris's mouth was well occupied. It was several hours before she could speak sensibly again.

A/N: Bow chicka wow wow!

Also this is a shameless plug for my new story Regret. Just the way it sounds, Yuffie and Vincent waiting to see if Meteor will destroy the world. I promise I won't do that often, but it gave me the inspiration to write this chapter. This one is for tarynwanderer! I'm finding that I like writing Yuffie more and more. Thanks all for the support!


	5. Chapter 5

Obsidian Mary Jaidde.

Obsidian for her hair - blacker than even the fair Snow White's hair. (Who the hell was Snow White anyway?) Mary for the pure virgin mother she sought to emulate. ("Virgin Mother"? Isn't that kind of an oxymoron..?) Jaidde like the green of her eyes, except way more exotic. She was totally exotic. (Because no one has black hair and green eyes around here.)

Cloud was relieved that his thoughts remained his own for the most part. Unless an author specifically described his thoughts, he was free to think what he liked. The snarky, sarcastic comments helped him make it through the newest batch of nightmares.

At the moment, Obsidian was the bane of his very existence. She was perfection - absolutely perfect in every way. Her skin was flawless and ivory colored. Her eyes were like two perfect gems... sometimes they were jades and other times they were emeralds. Her lips, full and rose red, were perfect for kissing and supposedly that was all he could imagine when he heard her voice. Her voice was another miracle to behold... like angels singing.

Luckily her perfection did not stop at her looks. She was also skilled in fighting and magic. Her ability with materia could not be matched. (Not even by Aeris, the Cetra with ties to the Planet.) Cloud still remembered the day Aeris had threatened Obsidian while they were in her church. Aeris's most powerful spells did not even touch Obsidian through her shields. Then the Planet threw its backing behind Obsidian because she was secretly a full Cetra and right. Aeris had never stood a chance.

Neither had Tifa. Obsidian's skill in unarmed combat was untouchable. Obsidian caught Tifa talking to Cloud one night. In their fight, Tifa and Obsidian destroyed Tifa's new bar. The building came down around them and when the dust settled, Obsidian sat on top of the splintered wood. Tifa was nowhere to be seen. Cloud had never been happier. Outwardly, he rejoiced and pledged his love to Obsidian on Tifa's grave. Inwardly, he seethed.

With his two loves defeated, the only girl still standing in the way was Yuffie. A grief stricken ninja threw herself at Obsidian. Within three paragraphs, Obsidian had wrestled Yuffie's Conformer from her grip. One and a half paragraphs later, Yuffie was dead and Cloud was murmuring sweet nothings in her ear.

Obsidian Jaidde was perfect. How could he, Cloud Strife, Savior of the Planet not love, want, and desire perfection?

He was human. (Well... sort of...) That was how.

Still, that did not stop the author. (Mrs. Obsidian M. Jaidde-Strife. Pffft... Why would anyone want to hyphenate their name with his. Everything sounded ridiculous with the word strife on the end.) There were already several dozen stories about this creature and his love for her. He mentally sighed, at least they were short.

The one he was currently starring in was winding down. The "raven" haired girl was curled "protectively" in his arms as they watched the smoking remains of the neo-shinra building in Edge. (Reeve had been secretly trying to bring back the Shinra reign of terror.)

Obsidian looked up at him with "wide, innocent" eyes, "Tell me you love me."

"With all my heart." Cloud said, stroking her hair, "Like I've never loved another."

"Not even Tifa or Aeris?" She asked coyly.

(It always comes to this.)

He smiled and held her closer, "They could never hold a candle to you, my darling."

The story suddenly ended. A quick line or two and he was free. Obsidian stood in place staring blankly out for a moment. Without a master, the little puppet vanished and Cloud returned to Costa del Sol. He scowled darkly and stalked off towards the villa. These stories always made him want to slaughter something as evil as the author.

The door slammed open and Cloud went straight to his room for his sword. Everyone knew better than to try and stop him for too long on nights like this. They had all had their own encounters with a being referred to as "Mary Sue" or "Marty Stu." Finding his materia and weapon at the ready, Cloud grabbed them and headed back out.

Tifa's gloved hand caught his arm at the door. She flinched under his angry cold gaze, but kept her grip, "Cloud... take your cell phone this time. If you're not back by morning, I want to be able to call you and make sure you're okay. Last time we didn't hear from you for hours..."

After a moment, Cloud nodded and took his cell phone from her, "Thanks."

"No problem." Tifa smiled slightly, "Go on then."

Then he was gone. Tifa listened for his motorcycle to start up and peel off into the night before she moved. She hated it when he left in such a temper, but she could ask him to stop. When she went up against her own piece of perfection - a creature named Lightning McSquall - she had pummeled a tree so hard that she splintered it straight through.

With a long sigh, Tifa went back to looking for Aeris. They both had a few hours off in the morning and Tifa wanted to see if the flower girl wanted to go get a late breakfast with her at a nearby restaurant. She had already looked through the common rooms and asked everyone else if they had seen her. As far as Tifa could tell, Aeris had suddenly learned to be invisible.

Tifa paused outside the door to the room she shared with Aeris and Yuffie. Something had caught her attention, a noise...

Then she heard it again - a steady thumping sound. It was like something banging against the wall repeatedly. She considered skipping the room, doubting she would find Aeris cooped up in there on a night so fine. Still, she figured it wouldn't hurt.

When her hand touched the doorknob, Tifa swore she could hear the bedsprings creak. Something pounding against the wall, bedsprings creaking... Tifa was almost afraid to open the door. It would not be the first time she walked in on two of her friends together. A blush covered her cheeks as she remembered walking in on Cid and Shera in the kitchen a few weeks before.

Aeris having a lover would explain the sudden disappearances lately. Now Tifa's curiosity was at war with her common sense. A distinctly female groan gave even more evidence as to what was going on, but Tifa couldn't help herself. If Aeris was in there with someone, she wanted to know who it was. With a sigh, she pushed the door open and peeked her head inside. Yuffie caught her tennis ball as it bounced off the wall, an impressive feat as her nose was buried in a comic book. She moaned over something she read before she noticed the door.

The bed creaked loudly as she turned to look at Tifa, "Hey. What's going on?"

"Looking for Aeris." Tifa couldn't help the relief she felt, "I thought she might be in here... with someone..."

Yuffie looked puzzled for a moment before she heard the sound of the ball against the wall. She grinned wolfishly, "I suppose that would sound odd out there, huh."

"You have no idea." Tifa grinned back at the younger girl, "I don't know what I was thinking. I mean, who would Aeris be sneaking around with? If she were with someone, she'd just come out and let us know."

"Unless it was a Turk or something." Yuffie mused, "Or... I don't know... Rufas?"

Tifa chuckled, "Right. Next you're gonna tell me she's with Sephiroth in the closet as we speak. Aeris is probably just out doing whatever it is she does during her down time nowadays."

"Want help finding her?" Yuffie asked, hauling herself off the bed, "Last thing I need is more people coming in here trying to figure out who is boinking who."

Nearly choking on laughter, Tifa let Yuffie walk out before her, "Sometimes I can't believe the things that come out of your mouth, Yuffie."

They went on talking and pulled the door shut behind them. A few moments later, the closet door opened and a disheveled brunette poked her head out. After a quick sweep of the room, Aeris stepped out of the closet with a blanket clutched around her, "They're gone."

"No one will bother us in my room." Sephiroth's voice came out in a squeaky imitation of her voice as he pushed past her in all his naked glory, "Tifa will be waiting for Cloud all day and Yuffie and Vincent have been plotting together for nearly a week. They'll be too preoccupied-"

"That was all true." Aeris argued, "When we came in here this afternoon. We've been here since five-thirty!"

Sephiroth crossed his arms, "So?"

Aeris's eyes narrowed at the silver-haired warrior, "It's nearly ten! That's four and a half hours!"

The scowl on Sephiroth's face slowly turned into a satisfied leer, "I don't recall you complaining about my stamina earlier..."

"Well I... That is we... and..." Aeris blushed hotly, "Could you just shut up and put your clothes on? All that skin is blinding me. How have you managed to stay so pale when you live on a beach anyway?"

Her weak arguments did nothing to deflate his pride. He turned collected his clothing slowly. Sephiroth could still feel Aeris's eyes on him. They may not like each other, but they were good together. She could hardly get enough of him. As he gathered his things, his thoughts and her gaze pumped up his ego.

Then he turned back around to see her standing there without the blanket, a fairly amused look on her face. He dropped his things back to the ground.

Tifa paused at the door to the villa as she heard something thud against the wall in the girl's room, "Yuffie, did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Yuffie asked, grabbing her keys off the table.

"Nothing I guess..." Tifa shrugged, "It sounded like you were throwing your ball against the wall again... which is impossible since you're here."

Yuffie chuckled, "You're just hearing things, Tifa. Come on. If we don't find Aeris on the beach, we'll come back and call out the guard, okay?"

Tifa smiled, "Okay. It'll give me something to do so I can stop worrying about Cloud out there."

Yuffie nodded sympathetically and let Tifa go out first. She had caused more trouble this week than she had in several months. It had not been difficult to see what was going on with Aeris and Sephiroth. They were hardly discreet. After several hours of blatantly ignoring one another, Aeris would leave and Sephiroth would follow several minutes later. Both would be gone for several hours and reappear at nearly the same time acting as if nothing had happened.

Yuffie did not know which was funnier, the fact that Aeris and Sephiroth thought they were being sneaky or that only she and Vincent had caught them. Even after all these years, everyone thought of Aeris as pure and innocent, above things like lust and deceit. If Aeris was missing at the same time as Sephiroth, it had to be coincidence.

With an amused shake of her head, Yuffie returned her thoughts to the soon to be unsuccessful search for Aeris. She only hoped that they would be done and composed after an hour search.

A/N: This is now my favorite story to work on. Who would have guessed? Thank you all again for all the support. This has been great fun so far. This chapter is for MysticSpiritus... hopefully I have mocked bad OCs to your liking. This does not mean that there are not good OCs out there... they're just kinda rare and not so funny.


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